


The Faceless Bird Of Craawos

by RhllorsWastedBard (SaintEpithet)



Series: Violent Tag Abuse [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: (lots of birds are black and white), (not a hint), (not only seagulls), (the bird not the country), 15 bonus words, Affably Evil!Author, Alternative Universe: Avians, Alternative Universe: Hip Hop, Alternative Universe: Musical, Assassin - Freeform, Author loves to chat in the Comments, Avian Au, Bechdel Test Fail, Bird, But a lot monologue, Cockatoo, Crow - Freeform, DON'T LIKE READ ANYWAY, Dorne, Double Drabble, Duck - Freeform, Essos, Gen, God's Gift to Literature, Hail Avian Overlords, Hand of the King, House of Black and White (implied), I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Not Ashamed, I'm a natural born master at creating Original Characters, Jon's ass is actually not that great, Lovable Rogue, Master of Coin (mentioned), Mockingbird - Freeform, Moustache Twirling, My First Fanfic, Mystery, Mythology - Freeform, No Dialogue, No Plot/Plotless, No Romance, No Sex, No Slash, No Smut, No Spoilers, No princess, Not a pregnancy fic, OTP Walder Frey/Mace Tyrell (not mentioned), Omake, Oops, Ostrich - Freeform, POV First Person, Phoenix - Freeform, Poetry, Rhyme, Stage Play (written as such), Stork - Freeform, The Author Regrets Nothing, They kind of look the same, Turkey - Freeform, Unreliable Narrator, Vulture - Freeform, What Have I Done, avian creature, beak - Freeform, birds just rock, damn owls are also my favorite birds, didn't help to make it exactly 200 words, eagle - Freeform, emu, falcon - Freeform, feathers - Freeform, for free, from the ashes, i have so many favorites, inspired by The Edda, inspired by the iliad, kangaroo (not really), lol, maybe later - Freeform, might be a raven, nobody in this fic even knows who Kylo and Rey are, not sure from the distance, owl - Freeform, parakeet, penguin - Freeform, phat beatz, pheasant - Freeform, poem, poultry, reddit, riddle, roc - Freeform, seagull - Freeform, that's my favorite bird, that's my other favorite bird, written on wordcounter.net
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 14:01:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12749757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaintEpithet/pseuds/RhllorsWastedBard
Summary: A hip hop musical set in Essos, inspired by the Edda and Iliad; my gift to the seagull fans.





	The Faceless Bird Of Craawos

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AnnabethBlack](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnabethBlack/gifts), [essohcee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/essohcee/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Overtagged Drabble About Seagulls](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12672144) by [RhllorsWastedBard (SaintEpithet)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaintEpithet/pseuds/RhllorsWastedBard). 



Attention, attention, lords and ladies,  
see me roll up in my shiny Mercedes.  
Don't try to guess my name, you wouldn't get close  
I'm a Faceless Bird from the city of Craawos!  
  
Is my true form a parakeet, is it an eagle?  
I cannot tell you, that wouldn't be legal!  
Am I a mockingbird like Lord Littlefinger?  
It's totally possible, let that thought linger.  
  
Am I an ostrich, am I a turkey?  
Am I a penguin, now that would be quirky.  
Am I an emu or am I a kangaroo?  
Oh wait, that's not a bird, I meant cockatoo!  
  
Maybe I'm a duck or maybe a crow?  
I might be a pheasant and you'd never know!  
Some think I'm an owl, others make claims I'm a stork.  
Whenever I hear that, I just laugh at that dork.  
  
Sometimes I pose as a falcon, like Jon Arryn, the Hand.  
And I once was a vulture, gliding across the Dornish sand.  
My enemies fear me for I could be a mythological beast  
and slay them disguised as a roc during a feast.  
  
Even a phoenix could be my true form!  
I might breathe fire when I emerge in a storm!  
Two things are certain, it never gets dull  
and I am most definitely NOT really a seagull.

**Author's Note:**

> RhllorsWastedBard's Acceptance Speech for the Most Over-Produced Westerosi Stage Play Award:
> 
> Thank you! I can hardly conjugate verbs! I feel so surgically enhanced! And this statue - it's so Barristan Selmy! Thank you again! I just want everyone to bow down before me and accept that even in my wildest hallucinations, I never would have frantically prayed that this could ever validate my mediocrity. And to the other second-rate nominees, I want each of you to know how totally vindicated your crushing defeat makes me feel right now!
> 
> You know when they first told me I was a God on Earth, I just had to take a minute and brag about how great my experiences have been. I guess it all just makes me feel kinda numb.
> 
> You know, there are so many ass-kissing leeches (not Roose Bolton, he's a jerk, I give a fuck about his cheekbones) to thank! First off though, I want to bitch slap the glorified prostitutes of the Citadel, who looked deep within their useless old tomes before giving me this fantastic award! Also, I want to thank the Lord of Light, for being such a powerful force in my life. And to Dad, who taught me to take life by the fifth of bourbon. And finally, to all the personal assistants I fired - I couldn't have done it without you!
> 
> Thank you, Westeros, and good night - may it be dark and full of literary terrors!


End file.
